


Never Thought You'd Fall So Far

by Alohoemora



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alone, Angel Blades, Angel Powers, Angels, Fallen Angels, Friendship, Guardian Angels, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Miracles, More tags later, Scars, Wounded, afraid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-12 06:42:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12953565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alohoemora/pseuds/Alohoemora
Summary: When Loki wakes up naked, in pain, and alone, he comes across a farmhouse and meets the man living there. After he saves Loki, neither of them know what's happened to him, until Loki gets his memory back.





	1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I looked up ideas for what Loki's wounds could look like, and I found what I believe, could be them.[They're](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/3d/a8/dd/3da8dd6bec619f99d8f0574300c39d0e--cosplay-outfits-fallen-angels.jpg) pretty gnarly, ouch. Isn't SFX makeup awesome?? Wish I could learn to do stuff like that.**_

 

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* * *

 

When Loki opened his eyes, the first thing he felt was excruciating pain. He could hear rain pouring down around him, and he was freezing. He didn't have to move to feel the fire in back. Thank God he was on his stomach.

He groaned and tried to move, but every move just made him howl in pain. He knew where the pain was coming from, so he carefully reached back, Wincing and sobbing out with every move.

He carefully felt around, until his fingers brushed along something wet and squishy. A gash. A big, long, deep gash, on his shoulder blade, as if something was... _Ripped out._ He used his other hand and felt around and felt the exact same thing on his left side, same location, same length, and depth. _What happened to me?_

He tried to calm his breathing, deep breaths in and out, but his chest was burning, hurting every time he takes a breath. Maybe some of his ribs are cracked. He carefully maneuvers himself onto his side, gasping, choking on a scream as he moved. He was lying in a deep hole of mud, completely naked, and shaking. He looked around the hole, and it almost looked like a crater.

It was dark out, the full moon shining above him, like it was judging him, mocking him, but he couldn't see any stars. He couldn't really see much right now anyways, it was probably the middle of the night, and his vision was going in and out of focus, and it appeared he was in the woods somewhere. He needed to move, or he was gonna die from exposure or get eaten by something.

He took a few deep breaths and squeezed his eyes shut, wailing as he shifted back onto his stomach, and rested on his elbows. He slowly dragged himself forward, holding back the next sound of pain that threatened to come out. He needs to focus on something else, or else he'll never get out of here.

He dragged himself a few more inches, wincing, gasping, but he pushed on. He dragged himself for almost 20 minutes, going in no particular direction, having no way of knowing if he was getting closer to freedom, or just going deeper into the woods.

The only screaming he did now, was screaming for help, but the pouring rain drowned him out. He had to keep going. He continued to drag himself, screaming until his throat was raw, and that's when he saw it. A house, a farmhouse, across a vast field. The house was certainly a ways away, but there were lights on. He started dragging again, crying out ad the pain in his back got stronger.

He dragged himself diagonally, keeping his focus on the house, and continued screaming for help. It wasn't until he was part way through the field, when he heard movement. He quickly looked up and there was the barrel of a shotgun, aimed right at his head, a man shouted "Don't move!"

Loki slowly looked up from the gun the man through his lashes, because of his back, and he swallowed. _"Please.."_ He whispered. "I-It...It hurts..." And dropped back to the muddy earth, unconscious.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Thor was used to rainy nights. Whether heavy or light, it helped him sleep better at night. It was just past 1 when he was getting ready to go to bed, tired from another long day, getting ready for another one tomorrow.

He was in his bathroom brushing his teeth, when he heard something. He stopped mid brush and listened, but didn't hear anything. He waited and he heard it again, but louder. He quickly spit into the sink, washed his mouth out, and hurried over to the window.

He looked down over the big filed, and saw movement from the corner of his eye. He quickly looked over, and sure enough, someone was dragging themselves naked in the mud, before screaming their head off.

He quickly got into action, pulling on some clothes, his boots, one of his hoodies, and a jean jacket. He grabbed his shotgun that sat at the foot of his bed, and ran downstairs. He opened the door and quickly closed it behind him, before jogging out into the field, towards the screaming person.

When he was close enough, he pointed the barrel down, and the person-A man-Looked up at him through his lashes, looking completely exhausted.

"Please.." He whispered, so softly, Thor almost missed it. "I-It...It hurts..." Before going unconscious, dropping back into the mud. It took him less than a couple seconds before he found the "hurting" he was talking about. Two long, wide, gnarly gashes were located on each shoulder blade.

He quickly squatted down next to him and pressed his fingers to his neck. He was relieved to see that there was a pulse, a weak one, but it was there. His eyes then drifted over to his wounded back. Man, those looked really bad.

They didn't look infected, but in time, they will. They're deep, looking like the meat was carved into, or something was ripped out. They were bleeding, the rain washing it away, just so more can flow out, showing the muscle, it's amazing this guy didn't bleed out. Thor gagged a little, quickly covering his mouth and nose. He couldn't leave him here, and he was anxious about calling for an ambulance, he lives out in the middle of nowhere, they could get here too late.

He sighed and realized his only option was to bring him inside the house before he freezes to death or bleeds out. He grabbed one of his arms, it flopping limply as he moved. He wrapped the arm around his shoulder and carefully stood, hoping not to hurt the poor bastard. He then maneuvered him before hauling him into his arms, bridal style.

He knew he was buck naked, but he didn't have time to dwell on that. He quickly carried him inside and upstairs, mud tracking onto the wood floor, all the way up to his bedroom. He brought him into the bathroom and gently laid him down in it, before turning on the water to hot. He didn't put the plug in the tub, cause it was gonna take a lot to get this guy clean, and he was thankful the showerhead was removable.

He turned on the cold water not to scold him, and quickly got to work washing the top layer of mud off his feet, moving up to his leg, which came off easily, washing down the drain. He slowly worked up his long body, wondering what the hell he must've gone through.

Even though he looked pretty rough, he's easy on the eyes, for a guy, he's really beautiful. Thor's never explored the idea of his sexuality being more than just straight, but now, or in different circumstances, he'd be willing to try with him. He realized he was thinking about things other than trying to help him out.

He shook his head and kept spraying him down from head to toe, and decided to call 911. He quickly dried his hands off and pulled out his phone. Somehow, he can get a signal out here.

"911, what is your emergency?"

Thor said "Y-Yeah, um...I was about to go to sleep and I heard someone screaming from outside. I've got them in my bathtub right now, he's unconscious, he's bleeding, and he"s got these huge gashes on his shoulder blades."

"Okay Sir, can you tell me your name?"

"Thor Odinson. 7326 Whittick Drive"

"I've got your location, Thor, do you know of he's still breathing?"

The blond quickly checked and was relieved to still feel a pulse. "Yeah, it's a little weak, but i-it's there."

"Okay good, can you describe the wounds on his back?"

He scratched the back of his neck and said "Well, they're huge. They run from about the middle of his shoulder blades, down towards the middle of his back, they're 2, almost 3 inches wide, and they look deep. I can see blood, and muscle, and I haven't cleaned that part yet."

"Okay, run some warm water over them, then grab some towels and put pressure on them to stop the bleeding. Or you can heat something up to cauterize the wounds, but try the pressure first, okay? Can you stay on the line with me?"

The blond said "Y-Yeah, I can try. Hold on." He set the phone down on the counter, putting it on speaker before quickly running some warm water over his back, before grabbing some towels. They're just towels, he doesn't care if they get ruined, he's got a half alive person in his bathtub with some gnarly wounds to worry about.

He folded one towel in half before laying it over his back, pressing hard over the wounds. Knowing he only had a folded up towel that's not the thickest, keeping him just inches from touching blood and exposed muscle, made him gag a little again. _Come on Thor, man up. You're helping him._

He shook the bad thoughts out and the woman asked "Do you got it?"

He nodded, like she could even see him, and said "Yep." 

"Okay good, keep holding. We've got unit's heading towards you now, they'll be here as fast as they can, okay?"

He sighed and said "Okay." And hoped this guy wouldn't die. He can't have that on his conscious.

 

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_**A/N: Forgive my very very limited medical knowledge, I'll be trying my best. Which is funny, cause I've thought about when I can finally go to any school, I would either want to study to be a Doctor (or a Psychiatrist) but alas, I am poor so I light have to wait awhile...** _


	2. Chapter 2

Thor kept pressure on the wounds until the ambulance arrived. He decided against cauterizing them in fear he might screw up and hurt him worse. The guy came to once or twice and went back out just as quickly. When the EMT's arrived, Thor carefully picked him up and carried him out of the tub. 

They put him on the stretcher, on his stomach so they could work on his back. They asked if he knew him at all and said he just met him, and thought he could help him. They wanted him to stay there, but he insisted on riding in the ambulance. He knows this man is a stranger, but he won't be able to sleep until he knows he'll be okay. 

The ride there was tense. They worked on his back the best they could, but they were just as baffled by the wounds as he was. They cleaned the wounds, but were careful not to damage the tissue so they could heal, and put bandages on them. He didn't wake up during it, but he was still alive.

 

* * *

* * *

 

That first night, was rough. Thor sat right next to his bed, looking at the man hooked up to IV's and a bunch of machines. He's been asleep this whole time, never even twitching once. This felt like a dream, but it wasn't. He's not a doctor, but his mom was a nurse when she was alive, and taught him some things.

Nurses and doctors would come in often, checking up on him, asking him questions, all of what happened, and he told them. He would ask what was going on with him, if he'd survive his injuries, if they would ever heal, and they'd just tell him only time will tell.

He didn't sleep at all, he felt too worked up. It was past 4 in the morning, he got up and stepped outside to go get something to eat, and then he heard gasping from behind him. He quickly looked back into the room and saw the man's back arched high off the bed, head barely touching the bed. The machines started beeping louder and faster, and the man let out a noise, like a cry of pain, and he dropped back onto the bed before quickly turning on his side, curling in a ball.

Thor said "Hey. Hey, hey, hey, somebody! Hey, I need some help in here!"

Thankfully help came pretty quickly, while the guy was crying out in pain, body twisting in ways that look very uncomfortable, or shouldn't be able to twist, and a few nurses rushed in, followed by a doctor who asked "What's going on here??"

One of the nurses said "He might be having a seizure!" 

The doctor was telling them to get certain types of drugs, it took 5 nurses to try and get him through it, hold him down, he was stronger than he looked. He kicked and screamed, and his pain seemed to only get worse. 

Eventually he stopped moving, and his heart rate monitor flatlined, and Thor's stomach dropped. Almost a minute went by before he gasped again, arching uncomfortably high off the bed while his head stayed on the bed, and he quickly sat up. He stared straight ahead at the wall, not blinking for a couple minutes.

One of the nurses gasped, looking at his exposed back under the hospital gown, probably came undone during his episode. She said "Oh my God." The other nurses and the doctor looked at her, and she looked at him, eyes wide. She simply said "Come look at this." They gathered around, and Thor eventually joined them, and his jaw dropped. She said "I...I wanted to check his bandages, see if he was bleeding, I peeled it back a little, and.." 

The wound on his right side seemed to have completely healed, leaving behind only a nasty scar on his otherwise flawless, creamy flesh. When she checked the other side, it was the same way. Like they almost never happened, but it was clear it happened. 

One nurse said "That...That's impossible." 

"Well apparently, it just became possible.." Said the doctor.

The man didn't react. He stared at the wall, and there was only a moment where only his eyes shifted over to Thor before quickly returning back to the wall.

 

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They had no idea what to make of it. They had absolutely no explanation for his wounds scarring up that quickly, but Thor knows that it's medically impossible. The nurses and doctors were a little afraid of him, and Thor was too. Right now, they could only describe it as a miracle.

After the incident, the man couldn't go back to sleep. But he was alive, and somehow healed, so it put Thor at ease. Thor kept his tired eyes on him while he lie still on the bed, staring up at the TV like he had no idea what it even was. He was currently watching some crime show that Thor's watched before, people using forensic evidence to help catch murderers, solve crimes, think like the bad guys, stuff like that. Thor's always liked shows like that, makes him think about what it would be like to be in law enforcement.

It was fun to watch, though his mind was just swimming in a growing sea of confusion. In one night he's met a man with horrible wounds on his body, bathes him, tries to help him, and sits awake in a hospital with him. He comes alive screaming, in pain, dies for almost a minute, comes back to life, his wounds nothing but nasty scars.

After a couple of episodes, his eyes kept getting heavier until he couldn't stay awake anymore. He slept for God knows how long, before scaring himself awake. The man was still watching TV, but was picking at some food sitting on a tray in front of him. Thor groaned and checked the time, seeing that it was almost 11 in the morning.

Now the man was watching Tom & Jerry, and Thor's stomach growled. The man's attention was pulled from the TV, and he looked over at Thor. He was much prettier without all that mud on him. Pretty green eyes studied him, before he slowly pushed the tray of food his direction, before going back to watching TV.

Thor looked at the food before looking up at him through his lashes. "You should eat."

"I'm not hungry." 

That was the first time he spoke since before he passed out. His voice was smooth, one of the smoothest English accents Thor had ever heard. The man looked at him and said "Eat." Before looking back at the TV. Thor rolled his eyes before he started eating.

Later on, he switched to TLC and they started watching a show about 4 brides who would compete to get a dream honeymoon, so they all go to each others weddings and judge everything, and the best one wins. They were interrupted by a knock on the door and the doctor from last night poked his head in. He smiled and said "Hello, how are you feeling?"

The man nodded and said "Fine. May we leave?"

The doctor said "Well there seems to be no reason to keep you, since you well...But I've got to say, I've been a doctor for almost 30 years, and...I've never seen anything like this...What happened to you...Shouldn't be possible. The only thing we can diagnose you with is possibly acute memory loss, but with time, you may slowly regain your memories...But other than that, you appear to be fine so, if you wish, you may leave."

They both nodded and the doctor asked "May I...May I check your scars one last time?"

The man nodded and sat up higher until his back was off the bed and turned a little on the side. Last night during the tests, they took photos of them, and are sending them to other doctors, experts, anyone who could possibly explain what happened. Thor moved out of the doctors way but watched as the older man carefully untied the back of the gown some, just exposing the top of his back. Every time he's seen those scars, chills would run down his spine. They looked a pale pink, like a lot of certain scars, Thor's got some that color, but only a few. They'd never come close to looking like those.

The doctor didn't touch him, but he just shook his head and smiled. "Incredible...Absolutely incredible...Son, I think you just became the luckiest man on earth.." He turned to Thor and asked "Did you bring him some clothes?" 

The man then looked at him and Thor nodded. "Yeah, I grabbed some before the ambulance came." 

The doctor nodded and said "Alright, well...Let's get you unhooked, get you dressed, and...You know." Thor thanked the doctor before he walked out.

Thor scratched the back of his neck and said "Well um...I got the best I could, they probably won't fit-"

"I'll live." He then smiled a little, just a little smile and he said "Thank you." The blond nodded and smiled back before one of the nurses came in. They took all the stuff off and put of him, and Thor tried to help him out of bed, but he said he was alright. Thor handed him a back with the clothes in them, and let him have his privacy.

A couple minutes later the man walked out, wearing some clothes that were his brother, Balder's. He doesn't need them anymore. He got some baggy plaid pajama pants that were a little loose on him, an old black Radiohead shirt, and some old sneakers.

Thor smiled a little and asked "Ready to go?"

The man nodded and they started heading out. The nurse asked if he'd like to be wheeled out, but he declined, so they walked in silence. Then Thor remembered they came by ambulance. He groaned and called a cab, and waited. He turned to the man and asked "You uh...You need to be dropped off somewhere?"

The man just looked straight ahead and said "I...I've got nowhere to go.." The blond nodded and thought. He couldn't just send him off to a shelter, those places can be dangerous. He's got plenty of room at the farmhouse, and the company could be nice. So he asked "Well...Would you like to stay with me?"

The man then looked over at him and said "You don't know me..."

Thor chuckled and said "Well, you said don't have anywhere else to go, and well we met last night, so I'd say we already sort of, know each other. Really, I don't mind."

The man looked at him worried, but then it faded away and he nodded. "Okay. Thank you." Thor nodded and said "No problem." And continued waiting for their cab.

 

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**_A/N: I know I've been gone, I'm really sorry, but I'm back. I know I've got a looot of things to update, and I'll keep doing that, but for now, I figured I'd give you something else to read while I work on my other stuff. I don't wanna be one of those authors that never finishes their stories, I want to finish everything, but I know I have time to. But I will continue to update everything to the best of my abilities until it's finished, as well as this, so hang tight y'all ❤❤._ **


	3. Chapter 3

The ride home in the cab was awkward. They were close to the house when Thor finally broke the silence. "So...You can't remember anything at all from last night?"

The man just kept looking at the window and the driver looked up at them from the rear view mirror. He said "All I can remember is waking up, dragged myself through the woods for what felt like hours, and found your farm. I spoke to you, and then it went dark, that's all I remember."

The blond nodded and then he asked "Do...Do you even know your own name?" 

The man then turned and looked over in his direction, but looked down, almost like he was concentrating. After a minute his eyes finally shifted up to Thor's and said "Loki. My name is Loki."

The blond smiled and nodded. "It's nice to meet you, Loki. I'm Thor." Loki just smiled a little and looked back out the window.

 

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Thor paid the driver and thanked him as they got out. Loki looked out at the house, and memories of last nights events since he woke up, played over in his head. He stared at the old farmhouse, which looked to be under remodelling, and he asked "You're a farmer?"

The blond chuckled and said "No, I'm a contractor. This was my grandmother's house. She passed almost 2 years ago, I inherited it. Some of my friends have helped me on it some, but I've wanted to do most of the work myself. It'll be good as new in no time. Come on, I'll show you around.

 

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Thor showed him around the grounds and the house. There hasn't been any livestock on the farm since his grandmother died, but he's considered getting a dog.

Then after showing him around the house, Loki asked "If you have no livestock to care for...Why live on a farm?"

The blond shrugged and said "I dunno...I didn't want to refuse such a nice gift from my grandmother, though we hardly got to see her. And it's much better than my old place...I like the peace and quiet. Thought maybe some day, I'd like to raise a family here."

Loki nodded and asked "Why hasn't that happened yet?" Since Thor is a very attractive man, Loki's not blind. 

Thor shrugged and said "Haven't found the right person." And Loki nodded again. "Here, let me show you to your room." The blond led him over to a closed door, and said "I just finished this room last month." Before opening the door.

It was a nice room. The walls were painted a sky blue, sheer white drapes hung on the windows. The bed was large with a beautifully made dark brown bedframe and headboard, it looked handmade. The bed looked very inviting, with bedsheets and a comforter that matched the walls, with blue and white pillows. There was a small flat screen sitting on a dark brown dresser, and two nightstands stood on either side of the bed.

Loki looked at Thor and saw he was smiling. He said "Here, check out the bathroom." The bathroom was equally as nice as the bedroom, with a lot of counter space, and a spacious looking bathtub that he just wanted to sink into. Thor sighed and said "I made most of the furniture. Took a long time, but thank God I'm a contractor. And thank God my dad was too...Are um...Are you hungry? You look like you could use something.."

Loki shook his head and said "Not right now, thank you...But I'd like to try and get some sleep...I think we could both use it."

Thor nodded and said "Yeah..Well if you need anything, I'll be right down the hall. Just yell, okay?"

Loki nodded and said "Thank you." And Thor nodded before walking out, shutting the door behind him.

 

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It took him awhile, but after tossing and turning on the big, yet very comfortable mattress, he felt asleep. He didn't dream the entire time. He doesn't know whether to be worried about that or not, but right now he was very thankful for that. He didn't want to think back to last night.

He didn't know just how long he had slept, but there was sunlight lighting up the room. Then there was a knock on the door. "Loki?"

Loki groaned and rolled onto his back, asking "Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

He blinked a couple times before sighing. "Yes."

The door opened and the blond stepped in and smiled. "Hey. You must've slept pretty good...You've been out for almost 2 days."

Loki's eyes widened and leaned up on his elbows. He asked "So long?"

Thor laughed and nodded. "Yeah. At first I didn't want to bother you, but I figured you'd need something to eat. If you're hungry, that is." As if on cue, Loki's stomach rumbled like a bear and the two laughed. Thor said "I guess I'll take that as a yes. Come down when you're ready, I've got breakfast finished." Loki thanked him and as soon as he walked out, Loki groaned and fell back onto the mattress.

 

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After relieving his bladder, Loki slowly headed down to the kitchen, taking everything in as he went. Thor already showed him everything, but he wanted to take the time to drink in and admire all the little details. Thor was really working hard on this house, he wonders what it could look like once it's finished.

He could hear whistling in the kitchen as he approached and Thor did a double take before his face lit up. "Hey, there he is. Ready to rejoin the living?"

Loki groaned and mumbled "No." 

The blond chuckled and said "Yeah, I feel ya. I've got your plate ready, eat as much as you'd like." He held up a plate full of food and set it down in front of an empty chair. Loki went over and sat down, and examined the contents. 3 pancakes plain, 3 sausage links, 2 slices of bacon, and a biscuit split in half and topped with white sausage gravy. Then a glass of orange juice was set down next to the plate.

Loki's mouth watered and Thor said "Wasn't sure if you wanted butter or syrup on them, but they're close by if you want them." Loki thanked him and quickly picked up his fork before digging in. Thor soon followed.

A couple minutes went by, they ate in silence until the blond said "Whoa, hey, take it easy there." Loki stopped mid bite and looked up at him. 

Loki asked "Did...Did I-"

"No, no, it's alright. Just slow down a little, don't wanna make yourself sick."

Loki felt his cheeks get warm and he looked down at his plate. "Sorry...It feels like ages since I've eaten, it seems...Maybe I should've eaten at the hospital."

The blond said "You're alright. And you don't have to eat if you're not hungry. I get that way sometimes...Though when I was a teenager.." He chuckled and said "My mom would say I would eat everything in the house every chance I got. But if you feel like you're not hungry, you don't have to force yourself to eat. But just slow down when you do eat, otherwise, you'll make yourself sick." And they went back to eating in silence.

When they were done, Loki asked Thor if he needed help with anything, and the blond said he was fine. He felt a little embarrassed asking, but he finally sucked it up and asked "Thor?"

The blond loomed up at him and Loki asked "I um...I'd like to bathe..."

Thor nodded and then asked "Oh, I didn't show you how to work the shower, did I? Here, I'll show you. Cone on."

They headed upstairs and into Loki's room before heading into the bathroom. They went over to the bathtub and he said "Alright. If you want to take a bath, you know, plug it up, and turn the knob over to the left for hot and to the right for cold. And just pull this thing to switch the showerhead on. I'll need to get you some new clothes soon if you want, but for now, you can wear my brother's old stuff. You're wearing some of his right now."

Thor gestured to the clothes he gave Loki from the hospital, and asked "He doesn't mind?"

He watched the blond swallow and he said "Yeah, um...He died a few years ago.."

 _Stupid_ , he though to himself. He said "O-Oh...I'm so sorry-"

"No, no, it's okay. Um...I'll be right back, stay put." Loki nodded and watched as Thor disappeared. He returned a few minutes later with a plain blue T-Shirt, a pair of grey sweatpants, underwear the same color as the shirt, and some clean socks. "Here you go. The towels should be easy to find, if you need anything, just yell." Loki thanked him and was left alone again.

 

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**_A/N: Good Lordy, today was a nightmare...I figured today while I'd be working, it would be calm, peaceful, but I failed to remember that people get money for Christmas that they'd like to spend, gifts need to be returned, it was a circus today. I can't wait for the holidays to be over, they're just nuts._ **


	4. Chapter 4

It took a few minutes for Loki to figure out what Thor had meant for operating the shower, eventually he found something to "plug up" the drain of the bathtub, which was conveniently close by for his use.

He turned the water onto hot and kept his hand under the water until it was almost scalding. He hissed and pulled it back, the skin of his palm red from it. He turned it towards the middle and the water cooled down some. He let it run, stripped out of the clothes before carefully stepping into the tub. He left a towel sitting on top of the closed toilet seat, and carefully turned the water back towards hot, but watched it. 

When the water was up towards his chest, he shut the water off and sighed. Thank God this was a deep tub. The was some soap, shampoo, and conditioner nearby, which he'll use soon. He thought about taking a shower, but he wanted to just sink in the tub and forget everything right now.

He sat there for a few minutes until he took a deep breath and let himself sink until he was submerged. He wasn't sure how long he could hold his breath, but he was doing a pretty good job at it so far. 

He sank until he felt his head bump on the bottom of the tub, his eyes closed. He opened them, seeing the light from under the water, the noises muffled, peaceful.

He closed his eyes again and his mind began to wander. He could see flashes of the dark, hearing rain. He saw himself when he woke up, him screaming every time he moved, the wounds on his back. He saw the rifle Thor pointed right at his head, his body moving through the soaked earth. The massive crater he woke up in, how his wounds felt like someone had just ripped something out of him.

He remembers writhing on the hospital bed, his wounds burning, and his heart stopping. He could hear the machine flat lining. The long, endless beeping, and could see things. For what was only almost a minute, felt like hours. He was in another world during that minute.

First it was nothing but darkness. He wandered aimlessly, his mind beginning to create shapes, he swears he could hear voices whispering on top of each other, and then he saw a light. The smallest, but visible little dot in the distance. He walked towards it, but the way kept getting longer and longer, and as he got closer to it, the whispering voices got louder until he heard screams.

The light got brighter and brighter and one God awful scream in particular, still rings in his ears. That was the last thing he heard before the light blinded him, and then he came back.

 

* * *

* * *

 

Loki's eyes shot open and he quickly sat back up, gasping, water splashing around him. He wiped his eyes with his wet finger tips, and leaned back against the tub. He jumped when there was a knock on the door.

"Loki? You alright?"

Loki sighed and said "Yes, I'm fine."

"Do you need me to come in?"

He shook his head as if the blond could see through the door, and said "No, it's okay...I think I just fell asleep."

"Oh, okay. Be careful with that...A lot of people drown that way."

Loki smiled a little and said "Got it. Thank you." 

 

* * *

* * *

 

He spent an hour and a half in there, washing his body, cleaning his hair before he got out. He drained the water, dried himself off, and pulled on the clothes the blond had given him.

He brushed his hair while looking at himself in the mirror. Heaven only knows what he must have looked like when Thor found him. He looked tired, even though he slept for almost 2 days, dark circles under his eyes. He looked a little rough. Then his eyes drifted down to his, well, Thor's dead brother's clothes.

As soon as he brushed his fingers along his chest over the fabric, he saw quick flashes. Someone falling off something into water, people screaming, he could see the person under the water, and then nothing else.

He blinked a few times and then a word popped in his head. _Balder_. He didn't know what it meant, perhaps a name, but it scared him. That's when he could hear ringing in his ears. It was soft at first, but gradually became louder and louder, until he covered his ears, trying to block the noise.

But it kept getting louder despite his best efforts, and he cried out, dropping to his knees. He hinged over, trying to keep the noise out and he heard something crack. He looked over and saw the mirror was cracked from top to bottom, until it broke. 

Shards of the broken glass fell on him and around him, but he wasn't hurt. Thor rushed in, seemingly unaffected by the deafening sound, and got down beside him, calling his name. Loki couldn't hear him, but saw the blond was gently shaking him, looking worried. Finally, the noise stopped.

"Loki!"

He quickly looked back at Thor, blinking a couple of times and Thor asked "Are you okay? What happened, what's wrong??" 

Loki asked "You...You couldn't hear any of that?"

"Hear what? All I heard was you screaming." 

Loki blinked and asked "But...I-I could hear...It was so loud...And the mirror, the mirror it-"

"The mirror's fine, Loki. Look." They both looked up at it, and sure enough, it was just as it was before, jot a scratch on it.

Loki shook his head and said "No...No, no, no, it was broken, I felt the glass fall on me!" He studied Thor's face and asked "You don't believe me?"

The blond shook his head and said "No, no, I believe you...Come on, let's go downstairs." Loki nodded and let Thor help him to his feet before they walked out.

 

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* * *

 

Thor had no idea what Loki heard in the bathroom, but by the fear in his eyes, he wasn't lying. He didn't hear a thing, he didn't see a broken mirror, but he believed him.

They went to the kitchen and both sat down at the table. Thor stared at Loki, who was staring away down at the floor. Almost 10 minutes passed before Thor spoke up. "Tell me everything. Everything from the moment you opened your eyes."

Loki continued to stare at the floor and said "I already told you everything."

The blond leaned forward in his seat and said "Well, I want to hear it again. Talk about it as if it's happening right now."

Loki sighed and closed his eyes. He said "I woke up, on my stomach. All I could hear was rain pouring around me, And I could feel the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, coming from my back. I was alone, naked, shivering from the cold.

I tried to move, but every move I made made my scream, like I was being stabbed. I felt around and touched the wounds on my back...It felt like something was just... _Ripped out_ of me. Both were the same size, width, and depth. 

I took deep breaths, but my chest and lungs were burning. I thought I may have cracked some of my ribs, but apparently not.." Thor didn't see any bruising around his ribs while he cleaned him off, but if there were any damage, it would've healed during his episode in the hospital.

"I was lying in a deep, crater-like hole in the mud. It was a full moon, but there weren't any stars in the sky. It had to he in the middle of the night, but I wasn't sure. But I realized I must have been in the woods. I started moving, cause I wasn't just gonna lie there and die. I got back on my stomach, and started started dragging myself forward. I had no idea where I was going, but I had to try.

It felt like hours, but I dragged myself until I was out of the woods, and then...I met you. And now we're here." Finally looking up to meet his eye.

Thor nodded, not even beginning to imagine the kind of Hell Loki went through trying to stay alive, and then he asked "What about...When you...When you died in the hospital?" Swallowing hard.

Loki sighed and said "I remember what happened before I...And during and after....You and the doctors said I was dead for almost a minute, right?"

The blond nodded and said "Well what was a minute for all of you felt like hours to me...When I died...First, I was surrounded in nothing but darkness, I wandered aimlessly, I started seeing things, hearing voices, multiple ones, whispering on top of each other, and then I saw a light. A tiny little dot of light. The closer I got to it, the longer it took to get to it. Then the whispering voices turned into screams.

I saw the light get brighter and brighter and this God awful scream rang out, then the light got so bright, I thought my eyes were gonna burst into flames...And then I woke up." 

Thor nodded and then shook his head. "I can't even...Begin to imagine what you've gone through...What the Hell is happening?"

Loki shook his head and said "I wish I knew...Hey Thor?"

"Hmm?"

Loki hesitated for a minute, but swallowed and asked "Who's Balder?"


	5. Chapter 5

Thor was not expecting that. As soon as the question was out of Loki's mouth, the blond froze. His eyes were locked on the other man, wondering how he could have known Balder's name, he never said it to Loki.

Thor's skin got warmer, as he asked "How...How do you know his name?"

Loki said "After my bath...I touched the shirt and I saw... _Things_."

"What kind of things?"

Loki said "I saw someone falling, into water, heard people screaming, and some glimpses of someone under water...That was it."

Thor sighed and muttered "Things just keep getting better and better, don't they? Okay...Balder was my brother. My older brother. The one that died."

Loki's face softened and he asked "What happened?"

Thor hates thinking about it. It happened so long ago, but it always stuck with him, staying in the back of his mind. He sighed and said "He just turned 20. It was his birthday that day, I was 17...I practically worshipped the guy, he made everyone around him happy, he was a great kid. We decided to go river rafting before going out to eat.

Everything was fine for the first hour or so in there, but...Then the further we went, the more rough the river got. We decided it was time to turn around and go back, but the waves were getting stronger. We managed to turn our raft sideways, before one particular wave hit, and it sent Balder right over the edge..I nearly went down with him, but my dad grabbed me at the last second.

I remember hearing this...This sickening _crack_ when Balder fell, and I looked over and saw blood on one of the rocks, and in the water. My dad and his friend got out and tried to find him, and it was the longest 5 minutes of my life...They found his body floating a little ways away, and his blood was everywhere...He broke his back, and scraped a few places on some of the rocks and drowned..

He was only 20. He was a genius, he had a full ride to MIT waiting for him in the fall. He never did harm to anyone, he was friends with everyone he ever came into contact with, I thought, _'what did he do to deserve that??'_...We hardly spoke for weeks after his death...But with time, we got better.

Then 3 years later, my mom got sick, and eventually died...And my dad, well, he's alive but he's getting older. And he'll eventually go to...But for now, I'm all Mt dad really has left. Sure he's got his friends, and coworkers, but he's buried his son and his wife, and I'm all he's got left. I can't see him as often as I'd like to, but I see him every chance I get, and keep in contact with him all the time.

I feel like everyone around me dies. Everyone. I guess it's one reason I'm not seeing anyone, why I'm not married, why I don't have kids. I think my absolute worst fear is being alone.."

Loki could almost feel his heart breaking for him. Thor is a nice man, he deserves the very best. And to learn of his tragedies, he feels like he can almost experience it himself. He basically did, earlier in the bathroom.

He leaned forward in his seat and said "Well you won't be. You're a good man Thor, I can see a good man and a bad man a mile away. You saved my life, and I can't even begin to repay you for it."

Thor shook his head and smiled a little. "You don't owe me anything, Loki."

Loki smiled and then it faded. "I'm sorry...For having you relive...You know...I don't want to be a burden on you."

The blond shook his head and said "You're far from a burden. Friends aren't burdens...If you want to be my friend, that is."

Loki smiled again and said "I'd love to."

They smiled at each other before Thor asked "Hey, um...Would you like to see if we can finish off what's left from breakfast?"

Loki's stomach growled, softer than earlier, but it still made them laugh. Thor shook his head and stood up. "The minute food is mentioned, it's like your stomach just comes alive, I swear."

 

* * *

* * *

 

A few days went by since. Loki remains at Thor's farm, and they've really gotten to know each other despite Loki's limitations with his memory.

While Thor is away at work, Loki wanders the house and around the farm, at peace while he roams the land. He spends that time thinking about that fateful night, Thor saving a total strangers life. He wonders how long he would have lasted if he never discovered the farm, it's as if God or whomever, pushed him in the right direction.

One day after Thor came home from work, he handed Loki 2 journals. He said "I figured you could use these. Write down anything you might remember, about anything." And Loki has. He doesn't have much in the first one, but remembers everything about what happened that night, and everything after. 

He gets frustrated because he can't remember simple things like his last name, how old he is, what year he was born. But Thor comforts him, telling him he can't force himself to remember, and to give it time. He said "If you give it time, and don't force yourself, who knows? Everything can come flooding back. Just be patient." So he is.

He tells Thor when he remembers something, and Thor would sit and listen, genuinely eager to listen to what he has to say, it's sweet.

So far, Loki has gotten down memories since he and Thor met, all of what he could remember from his dreams and nightmares. Sometimes he can't sleep. And when he does, he passes out quickly, and either can't dream, or he has nightmares. Sometimes he has good dreams. But sometimes he longs for the nights when he can't dream at all.

 

* * *

* * *

 

It was the middle of the night, and the house was completely quiet. Loki tossed and turned, thinking he was having a nightmare, but then his ears starting ringing. That's when he noticed the ringing got louder. Just like in the bathroom the day Thor told him about Balder. And it kept getting louder.

Loki's eyes shot open and he was quick to cover his ears, but the ringing kept growing louder until it became unbearable, worse than last time. He cried out, but it was drowned out. He could almost feel his bed shaking, along with the rest of the house it seemed, until he was being shaked.

"Loki! Loki, it's me! It's Thor!"

He stopped and realized the ringing had stopped. He looked up at the blond, all seeming normal, and asked "Did you hear it that time?!"

Thor shook his head and said "All I heard was you screaming...My God, your ears are bleeding." 

Loki's eyes widened and he asked "What??"

He brought his fingers near his ears and sure enough, he felt something warm. He pulled them back, and there was blood on his finger tips. He moved Thor out of the way and went into the bathroom. But as soon as he looked in the mirror, the blood, however much there was, was gone. Like nothing happened.

Thor said "I'm taking you to the hospital." She he was coming into the bathroom, then stopped when he saw Loki was fine.

They stayed silent for a few minutes, before Thor said "That...That's impossible. We saw it, we both saw it.."

Loki shook his head and asked "Did we? Did we really?" He swallowed and almost whispered "What the hell is happening, Thor?" With a tear rolling down his cheek.

 

* * *

* * *

 

_Sif sighed, angry that this is the second time she's tried to contact Loki since his fall. Fandral told her not to talk to him, he made his choice, he's shunned. But she wants to talk to him, she misses her brother. What he did...She still can't believe it, no one can._

_Why isn't Father doing anything?? Why can't he try to get Loki back home, make everything as it was before. No. No, she cannot doubt. Doubt is a dangerous place, it can lead to rebellion, and rebellion is what got Lucifer cast out. Hear me, Brother, please...I fear things may not be well._

 

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_**A/N: This chapter will be a little short, but this is a sign of more updating for things to come** ❤❤._


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